Sunday, January 2, 2011

2010...2011!!!!!




My life has been nothing short of a roller coaster the last year, so believe me when I say I am happy to see 2011 come around. All year long I have been hit with disappointment, heart ache, and depression, and I did not know what to make of all of it, or how to handle it. Every time I thought things were turning around for me, I was hit with something else.

In August, my fiance of six years called off our engagement, one month later, my best friend of 20 years turned her back on me and choose a man over our friendship. It was ridiculous, I didn't know what to do with myself. If I wasn't crying, I was doing nothing at all. I was like a robot, I woke, got my son dressed, sent him to school, I went to work, left work, picked up my son, cooked dinner, cleaned up, and stayed up all night sulking about my life's current circumstances, and I would get up and do it all over again the next day. I was in this zombie like state for weeks, until one day I had an encounter with the mother of an old friend, that would change my life forever.

I haven't seen my friend's mom in a few years but the second I seen her and sat next to her, my life's complications came flowing out. She sat down and listened to me without judgment, without saying a word. When I was done talking, I was crying like a 3 year old child that just lost her mother in the grocery store. At that time, Ms. Ann ( my friend's mother) grabbed my hands and looked at me and said simply, " Now, Gina with everything you just said to me, what do you want to do about it all, because crying is going to get old...?" To some that might seem like nothing, but to me at that time, that was the first person to say this to me. That statement radiated through my soul, because up until then I had not thought about my new future... my new game plan. So that night I went home and sat at the end of my bed and talked to God like He was one of my homies...LOL! I laid it all out and I asked God to grant me mental peace and emotional stability, to figure out what I should be doing with my life, and from that night, I no longer cried, I no longer worried, I just LIVED. I started enjoying the little things in my life again and began to deal with the hand I was dealt and I quickly realized what blessings I was given by letting go and letting God do his thing.

So here I am, I turned 26 years old in November, and its a whole new year and I don't think that I have ever felt more positive, creative, or hopeful about my future. I am happy to say I am no longer afraid of being alone, cutting people out of my life that truly did nothing to benefit me or my walk in life was cleansing. I was given some "She-Time" to reevaluate my life and the people in it and I am truly content with my life right now and with my inner circle. In these few short months I have accomplished one wonderful thing: I have moved into my first house and I cant wait to upload pictures of it! Its nothing special but its mines. I'm still painting and my furniture won't be here for a few more days, but I am so excited, because I did this by myself, and by doing this, it gave me the confidence I needed to move on and set bigger goals for myself. So from this point on its only up from here for me, because for the first time, in a long time I am learning to appreciate myself and all I do and can do with a little hard work and dedication. I have an amazing family and amazing friends and I wouldn't change that for nothing in the world, SO SEE YA LATER 2010 AND WATCH OUT 2011 BECAUSE GINA IS OUT TO SHUT IT DOWN!



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